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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Happy Halloween

This may sound stupid, but I forgot how much I like Halloween. Seriously though, there's something about all of the B class horror movies and grown men dressing up in some crazy costume that just makes this such an awesome holliday. The holliday is all about fun, there's no grand meaning behind it (Not that meaning is bad), just an excuse to have a good time. The history of Halloween is also pretty interesting, but I won't bore everyone with a history lesson.

I even like the whole "haunted house", bit. Luckily we've been told that some of the nations best and scariest are in the area so we are planning on hitting some up with some friends and try and get into the spirit of things.

Now a bit of CAS business (Citizens Against Stupidity).

Our subject study is non other than Gov. Sarah Palin. Like a said in my first blog, this is a non-partisan group, it just goes to show how deep this sickness goes.

The following is the transcript from the Couric/Palin interview.

COURIC: Why isn’t it better, Governor Palin, to spend $700 billion helping middle-class families struggling with health care, housing, gas and groceries? Allow them to spend more and put more money into the economy? Instead of helping these big financial institutions that played a role in creating this mess?

PALIN: That’s why I say, I like ever American I’m speaking with were ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the tax payers looking to bailout.
But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy– Helping the — Oh, it’s got to be about job creation too. Shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americas.

And trade we’ve got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive scary thing. But 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. ALl those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that.

Thank you very much Gov Palin for such a descriptive explanition to a rather direct, on the point question. Health care reform and scary trade deals were all very helpful in explaining why this bailout went to save Wall Street. It all makes perfect sense now! What was the name of that other guy who was up for the Veep job? Maybe it's time to give him a call.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Citizens Against Stupidity Unite!

So I've decided to start a club to combat the rampant rise of stupidity in our nation. Stupidity threatens us all, and this destructive disease seems to be spreading at an unprecedented pace.

At first, stupidity outbreaks were mainly found in areas like Hollywood, Hippie Conventions, Washington DC, and Trailor Parks. But now this crippling disorder has attached its evil claws to our Educators, Doctors, Law Enforcement Officers, and every other facet of society.

Citizens Against Stupidity (CAS) stands firm in the belief that when you encounter someone afflicted with the deadly stupidity virus, that it is your civic duty to make that person aware of their own stupidity so that they can seek help before it's too late.

This is a non-partisan, non-religious movement since stupidity has infected all walks of life.

Our featured story for the day is Dr. Laura West of Los Angeles. Dr. West called in to my work last night inquiring as to why we haven't shipped her contact lenses yet. Now, Dr. West is an MD so she is able to write her own contact rx's without seeing an eye doctor. Upon looking up her order, I noticed that she wrote out the wrong prescription for the contact order that she placed. After several minutes of listening to her repeat over and over again that she was a Doctor (apparently she thought that I wasn't paying attention the first 10 times she said it) I was finally provided the opportunity to speak. I explained that the order and the rx didn't match and that she'd have to send in another rx with the correct info. She then went off again about how she is a Doctor (this time she was being condescending) and that she already sent in a rx and shouldn't have to do it again. Again I told her that the rx we had was different then the order that was placed, hence we needed another one faxed in with the correct info. We went on like this for another 10 minutes or so and she was beginning to get offensive. I was baffled that a medical professional was so incapable of understanding how prescriptions work. Then it hit me, this Doctor is infected with the Stupidity Virus!

It was at this point that I jumped into action as a member of CAS, and tried to make the Doctor aware that she is a victim of stupidity. I calmly told her that even those with basic reasoning skills would understand that prescriptions must match the order being placed, and the fact that she couldn't understand that as an MD frightens me (my exact words). I could tell I was getting through because there was a long period of silence, but unfortunately stupidity won and the Doctor began her rant about how she was a Doctor and I was the stupid one. She told me to cancel her order and that she would never do business with a bunch of idiots like me again. To which I calmly responded that if I was ever in need of a Doctor while in L.A. I would be sure to seek the help of someone who at least understands basic medical procedures. That was the end of our conversation.

Now, there are some key symptoms in this case to help us identify the Stupid among us.

The first sign was that she kept repeating the fact that she was a Doctor over and over again. This was done to throw me off her trail that she was stupid. You'll notice this technique will be used by people like Doctors, Lawyers, and your Boss. "Because I'm your Boss" is a classic statement made by the stupid.

The second sign was that she was unable to listen to basic reason or follow simple instructions. Stupid people often have trouble with that, hence the reason why I had to repeat myself over and over again to no avail.

The third sign in this case was her reaction when she found out that she was suffering from stupidity. The angry, condescending response when I brought it to her attention is a normal reaction for those who are suffering from this disease.

I can only hope that Dr. West seeks help for her condition, and it brings me satisfaction to know that I may have helped her to the road of recovery.