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Thursday, October 2, 2008

Citizens Against Stupidity Unite!

So I've decided to start a club to combat the rampant rise of stupidity in our nation. Stupidity threatens us all, and this destructive disease seems to be spreading at an unprecedented pace.

At first, stupidity outbreaks were mainly found in areas like Hollywood, Hippie Conventions, Washington DC, and Trailor Parks. But now this crippling disorder has attached its evil claws to our Educators, Doctors, Law Enforcement Officers, and every other facet of society.

Citizens Against Stupidity (CAS) stands firm in the belief that when you encounter someone afflicted with the deadly stupidity virus, that it is your civic duty to make that person aware of their own stupidity so that they can seek help before it's too late.

This is a non-partisan, non-religious movement since stupidity has infected all walks of life.

Our featured story for the day is Dr. Laura West of Los Angeles. Dr. West called in to my work last night inquiring as to why we haven't shipped her contact lenses yet. Now, Dr. West is an MD so she is able to write her own contact rx's without seeing an eye doctor. Upon looking up her order, I noticed that she wrote out the wrong prescription for the contact order that she placed. After several minutes of listening to her repeat over and over again that she was a Doctor (apparently she thought that I wasn't paying attention the first 10 times she said it) I was finally provided the opportunity to speak. I explained that the order and the rx didn't match and that she'd have to send in another rx with the correct info. She then went off again about how she is a Doctor (this time she was being condescending) and that she already sent in a rx and shouldn't have to do it again. Again I told her that the rx we had was different then the order that was placed, hence we needed another one faxed in with the correct info. We went on like this for another 10 minutes or so and she was beginning to get offensive. I was baffled that a medical professional was so incapable of understanding how prescriptions work. Then it hit me, this Doctor is infected with the Stupidity Virus!

It was at this point that I jumped into action as a member of CAS, and tried to make the Doctor aware that she is a victim of stupidity. I calmly told her that even those with basic reasoning skills would understand that prescriptions must match the order being placed, and the fact that she couldn't understand that as an MD frightens me (my exact words). I could tell I was getting through because there was a long period of silence, but unfortunately stupidity won and the Doctor began her rant about how she was a Doctor and I was the stupid one. She told me to cancel her order and that she would never do business with a bunch of idiots like me again. To which I calmly responded that if I was ever in need of a Doctor while in L.A. I would be sure to seek the help of someone who at least understands basic medical procedures. That was the end of our conversation.

Now, there are some key symptoms in this case to help us identify the Stupid among us.

The first sign was that she kept repeating the fact that she was a Doctor over and over again. This was done to throw me off her trail that she was stupid. You'll notice this technique will be used by people like Doctors, Lawyers, and your Boss. "Because I'm your Boss" is a classic statement made by the stupid.

The second sign was that she was unable to listen to basic reason or follow simple instructions. Stupid people often have trouble with that, hence the reason why I had to repeat myself over and over again to no avail.

The third sign in this case was her reaction when she found out that she was suffering from stupidity. The angry, condescending response when I brought it to her attention is a normal reaction for those who are suffering from this disease.

I can only hope that Dr. West seeks help for her condition, and it brings me satisfaction to know that I may have helped her to the road of recovery.

4 comments:

Hansen family said...

Ok. So I am laughing so hard my guts hurt. May I please join CAS? I think that directive and blunt feedback must be a requirement. Unfortunately HR says Maintain and Enhance Self Esteem..... The only downside though.....we cant make any money being part of CAS.....one of the rules of rich, famous and a big wig is stupidity.
We will plan on your visit. YEAH!

Stacey Irwin said...

LOL! Yes I too would like to sign up for the stupid people act!
That's the problems with those Doc. they think they are the exception to the rule! How hard is it to FAX in a new perscription! But I wonder as well.... If she put in a new perscription.. is that to be able to change her perscription? or was it completely off?
Way to inform her of her disease!!! ( how do you not get in trouble for that.)
Man that was awesome!

marion family said...

I beleive applause are in order for your brave and caring intervention... I mean who knows how long she could've suffered with this illness. Even if she doesn't get better, you did what you could.
I'm really not surprized that a doctor would act like that. It's my job on a daily basis to educate them on how to treat their own patients. Sometimes they amaze me. And I totally know the frustration of them not listenening very well. My hat's off to people that have to deal with things like this for work every day and still find a way to make a good laugh about it all.

Anonymous said...

It's reassuring to know that others in my family have acquired this great piece of equipment to use in everyday life, that being 'brutal' honesty with a hint of wit. We are often forced to converse with buffoons like the one you described and after wards you feel like you should be reading a book or listening to Ben Stein talk in order to wash yourself clean of all the stupid you got on you. Great post. Very well written.